Today is two years since my best friend, Rand, passed away. And needless to say, it’s been difficult for me all over again.
I read in a book recently that grief never truly goes away, you just kinda forget about it until something reminds you and then the pain rushes back as fresh as ever. Which I found very poignant and true. Most of the time, I do ok. But, when something comes up that brings it back to the surface, it’s like a slap. It becomes a fresh, raw pain all over again.
At the same time, I find myself sorta numb. Like, my heart and head agree this hurts way too much, so let’s just blank it out and fill myself up with a fog so I don’t have to deal with it.
What can be said about loss and grief that hasn’t already been said a million times before? Anyone who’s ever lost someone knows the pain all too well. My sorrow is not unique in this world, though sharing this loss with so many others sadly does not lessen the impact personally felt and experienced. Each of us who grieve feel that grief to the depths of their soul; this shared experience sadly not lessening the burden.
In short: I’m sad. I miss him. And that sucks.