Blog entry about my Mom, her love of jewelry, and learning to embrace a little of her bold style for myself.
Category: Grief
It’s [Not] Okay to Cry
Every part of going through the loss of my mom has been hard. I mean, yeah, of course, she’s my mom. But one of the most frustrating parts of this experience has been my inability to cry. And I don’t mean that I don’t want to, I mean, it physically hurts me to cry. I…
Just Sad All The Time
It’s so stupid. I have these moments where I’ll be sitting there, and I’m like I am so deeply and profoundly sad and for half a second I forget why. Then it’s like….duh you dumbass. Obviously! Your mother died a month ago! But even though that knowledge is there constantly and there’s no escaping it,…
Keeping Secrets
For years, I kept my autoimmune diseases a secret from my mom to prevent her from feeling undeservedly guilty.
Numb
My mom died yesterday.
I’m sure one of these days I’ll have the energy to talk about how we got here, but for now, I just feel the need to write and I’m starting at the end rather than the beginning. So forgive me.
Gracie
From the beginning, I knew something was wrong with Gracie’s mouth. It’s why I initially took her to the vet. But the vet felt the drooling was a nausea issue and got fixated on her abdomen and wound up sending me to a specialist for detailed blood work and ultrasound. All that cost me around…
Gut Punch (My Reaction On the Eve of the 2016 Presidential Election)
I don’t have the words to adequately describe how disappointed, disgusted and literally scared I feel in this moment as a woman in this country. I knew we were still a country battling bigotry, misogyny, hatred and even anti-intellectualism, but….but. This is something else entirely. I thought we were better than this. I thought decency…
Another mass shooting in America
The victims and families of the mass shooting in Orlando last night don’t want your prayers or your thoughts. They want your OUTRAGE that a small percent of gun nuts have successfully lobbied against passing ANY common sense gun laws and have put their profits over the lives of human beings. RAGE to your elected…
Reminders of Things Best Left Forgotten
Trigger Warning: abusive father bullshit ahead This one is dark and heavy. There’s also lots of cursing head. Fair warning.
Goodbye Nanny
My Nanny – my Mom’s Mother; my maternal grandmother – passed away this morning. She was 98. She had been suffering from dementia for years though so we’ve mourned her in spirit for a long time, today we mourn her in body as well. Nanny was a widower. My grandfather was killed in a car…
A world less funny
Like many last night, I heard the shocking and sad news of Robin Williams’ death. Like a punch to the gut, it came out of nowhere and it stole my breath away. And like many, I’m left with a jumbled mess of emotion about this, unsure how to properly feel or react. Logically, I know…
The Day the Element Died
First off: Love is ok. The car, however is dead. It’s been a fucking morning from hell. My phone rang at 7am. I had been asleep 4 hours. It was my guy in a shaky voice telling me he was in an accident. I threw clothes on and drove to his work. (About 30 minutes…
And There Went July
So…yeah. Another month [nearly] gone and only a lone entry thus far to mark it’s passage. That’s just sad. I’ve been meaning to write an entry for like two weeks now but it never seems like I have the time. Plus, summers are dull in Florida; all the locals hibernate from the sweltering heat and…
Three Years
To my dear friend… Lovingly remembered Deeply missed Never forgotten Rand July 30, 1967 – March 13, 2010
Another Halloween Gone
Well, I was actually going to finally try and get back into Halloween a little this year. For so many years, it was wrapped up in traditions with our friend Rand, from carving pumpkins to decorating his house, to dressing up and handing out candy to the trick-or-treaters from his house. When he passed away…