It's been hitting me really hard the last few days. And I'm sure it's going to continue being difficult for the next few weeks. We're at a year now since Rand went into the hospital. A year ago Sunday was the last time we spoke to him and saw him conscious. A year ago now…
Category: Grief
TGIF
Happy it’s finally Friday. This week has just been one of those ones where even though I got off to a fast start with our overnight “vacation,” still has felt very long. It doesn’t help I’ve been hormonal this week with all the fun that comes with it (cramps, back pain and migraines) and while…
So This is 2011
So far, not much different from 2010 I gotta say. We spent New Year’s Eve at a walk-in clinic since everything was closed and poor Love had a completely red and swollen eye. Turns out, he has an eyelid infection. I’ve been washing his eyelid with baby shampoo multiple times a day and applying an…
Halloween Sadness
I’ve always loved Halloween. Love? Eh, he’s never been big into it. It’s just not his thing. But our best friend Rand was always with me – he got into it and had fun with it. Since Love and I live in an apartment, we’d always go to Rand’s house on Halloween. His neighborhood had…
Six Months and A New Goodbye
It’s a sad day all-around. Love’s Dad has to put his dog, Red, to sleep tomorrow. Red is only seven and this is pretty sudden. He wasn’t eating very well and had lost weight so they took him to the vet. Turns out he had tumors around his heart and some problem with his…
Panic Attacks, Rainy Days, General Blather
(I tried posting this through posterous but it’s not working. So if later this shows up a second time, sorry!) Sunday night into Monday I didn’t sleep. I just couldn’t stop the horrible spinning thoughts in my head. I kept thinking about all this stuff about Rand and I cried and pretty much wound up…
Happy Birthday Rand
Today Rand would have been 43. We would have gotten together and probably gone out to eat. Gotten him a Wii game or a PC game or something – two of his preferred gifts for holidays – and probably watched a movie or something. Gotten a cake and forced him to listen to us sing…
Remembrance Tree
Of course you all know by now how many Tree of Life pendants I make. But this one’s personal and different and I wanted to share because of it’s meaning to me. To recap, in February, our best friend, Rand, suddenly, out of nowhere had to call 911. Turns out he had a complete tear…
Netherlands
I don’t care about soccer. Never have. I admit, I’m a typical American that way. But Rand was a HUGE soccer fan. He volunteered his Saturday mornings for ten years being a ref for a local kid’s league and played on two local teams as well. Rand was also born in Holland and while he…
So Much To Say, So Hard To Get It Said
And…it’s Tuesday again. Been meaning to update for a few days now but I really haven’t felt like it, there hasn’t been much to say that wasn’t a downer and there just didn’t seem much point. But I’m at work and I’ve already had a very busy morning so I felt like I needed a…
Sad
I’m so sad today. And I’m sick of being sad all the time.
Long overdue sleep
Last night I said, “screw it” and took a lorazepam and went to bed. I slept. And when 7am came around I woke up realizing I could sleep more. So I called in and went back to bed. I didn’t get up until 10:45am so clearly I needed the rest. I refuse to feel bad…
My Kingdom For A Nap
I think it’s official at this point. I simply am no longer capable of sleeping. Last night, I took some Benadryl specifically so I could sleep. And instead, I lay there awake until about 1:30am. Then I woke up around 3am from a nightmare and again around 4am with the same thing. I…
Week In Review (April 24th – May 1st)
So I’ve been meaning to make an update for quite some time now (obviously) and for one reason or another just haven’t. Thus, you get a quick-and-dirty run through of the past week. Saturday, April 24th Went to Ikea. Bought our first ever curtains and a rod. Discovered rod was too small. Went to Target….
Friday
Friday It’s a trilogy of fun this morning: my head hurts, my stomach hurts and I didn’t sleep worth a damn. I really needed another half hour or so to address the stomach issues but I was already 10 minutes late, so I didn’t really have MORE time to deal with it. I’m not sure…