(Warning: There is bugs in this post. Specifically ants. There’s also A LOT of cursing.) I have had a fucking week from hell and I’m just over it. All I want to do is lay down and fucking cry. I have no one to vent to so I hope you will allow me to share…
Tag: depression
A world less funny
Like many last night, I heard the shocking and sad news of Robin Williams’ death. Like a punch to the gut, it came out of nowhere and it stole my breath away. And like many, I’m left with a jumbled mess of emotion about this, unsure how to properly feel or react. Logically, I know…
And There Went July
So…yeah. Another month [nearly] gone and only a lone entry thus far to mark it’s passage. That’s just sad. I’ve been meaning to write an entry for like two weeks now but it never seems like I have the time. Plus, summers are dull in Florida; all the locals hibernate from the sweltering heat and…
Another Halloween Gone
Well, I was actually going to finally try and get back into Halloween a little this year. For so many years, it was wrapped up in traditions with our friend Rand, from carving pumpkins to decorating his house, to dressing up and handing out candy to the trick-or-treaters from his house. When he passed away…
This, That and The Other
Love & the Neurologist Yesterday (Monday the 14th) Love had his follow-up with the neurologist. Turns out the CT scan he had done a few weeks ago was perfectly normal. See, Love has this “whooshing” which kinda pulses in his right ear. Had it for years. But, when the whole vertigo-turned-out-to-be-migraines attacks started a year…
Selfish Grief
I’ve discovered with Rand’s passing that grief has many faces, shows up in many different ways and comes and goes with varying impact – even long after you think it should still bother you. It was two years this March and many days it’s easier to deal with; the grief is well-worn in and doesn’t…
In A Bad Place
I thought I was dealing with last week being the 2nd anniversary of Rand’s death pretty well, until I realized last night as I was getting ready for bed that I’m actually in a bad place. I’m really angry and have no patience right now and everything is overwhelming pissing me off disproportionately to what…
Painfully Numb
Today is two years since my best friend, Rand, passed away. And needless to say, it’s been difficult for me all over again. I read in a book recently that grief never truly goes away, you just kinda forget about it until something reminds you and then the pain rushes back as fresh as ever….
Feeling Blue
It’s the time of year again where I get a little sad and melancholy. When dates and events start reminding me of my friend Rand’s passing two years ago. It stirs up some sadness and feelings of grief. Two years ago, Love was getting ready to celebrate his 40th birthday on the 18th. So Rand…
Weekend
I spent most of Friday just in a serious funk. Kept crying because of the damned collection letter. It’s like, why even bother trying to be responsible and pay everyone off if I’m just going to get screwed over and ruin my credit anyway? Everything is stacked against you as the debtor and they make…
Collections
So, even though the debt started as $1,200 and it’s down to $930 and I’ve been paying every month, apparently the “fact” that so long as you pay they can’t send you to collections is an urban myth. Every single person I’ve ever talked to both in person and online said just pay it each…
3 Months Post Op Hysterectomy
I haven’t done a post-op entry in awhile and after finding my I am Obamacare image on MoveOn.org (craziness!) I realized I should do an update again. If you find this information helpful, please consider shopping my handmade jewelry etsy shop, PhoenixFire Designs! I make my living creating unique, one of a kind, handmade jewelry…
2 Drink Kinda Day
Unfortunately for me though, I don’t drink. Yes, I hated my day job. And no, I really didn’t want to go back but that doesn’t mean the way things wound up doesn’t leave me really low today. Going to get my stuff, I felt like I was being punished. I felt demeaned as my former…
6 Week Post Op Hysterectomy
Today is 6 weeks from surgery. Tomorrow I have my 6-week appointment with my doctor to see how I’m healing up. It’s a big stage in the healing since, if all is well, I get a lot more restrictions lifted and can get back to almost normal activities. Even though at 6 weeks you are…
Monday
Ok, so it’s Monday. And busy week ahead. First, the Honda. Love talked to a friend who gave a mechanic recommendation. Looked him up on Google and he’s got 10, 5-star reviews. Everyone says he’s honest and fair priced. Love’s friend has been going to him for years. So I’m waiting on AAA right now…